fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
