I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need water and some morals
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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