Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
