i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
