I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
