Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Fuck appropriateness.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
