I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
