worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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