Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
