Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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