Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
