What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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