i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
