I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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