i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
