I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
