She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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