This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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