he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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