is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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