Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
