So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
