All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
