ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
