my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All the doctor said was why
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
