...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
