I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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