So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize