Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
