just come out here and I will go home with you...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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