That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need a beard to bite.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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