try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
