I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize