in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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