I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize