Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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