Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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