Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
