In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
