i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
