sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
