i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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