What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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