You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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