I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
