sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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