Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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