fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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