Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
