so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
