no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
