We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
