pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
