dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
