don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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