Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
