I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
