Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
