well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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